Learning the Hard Way

So... I have a confession to make. I have been in a downward spiral of depression. Now, the reason, as you'll see, is probably pretty dumb... but it's true. As you know, I started my MilWordY journey in late August. I was all gung-ho with my deadlines and my plans and my daily and monthly word count goals... but then after a couple months I found that the goals I'd set for myself were simply not yet feasible; I hadn't ever written this much before! So I started to freak out and fuss and worry about something so trivial as a little number and a deadline for my first draft books. I worked myself into such a mood that I couldn't even write anymore, and I got even more upset with myself over that!

After a few days of literally laying in bed, crying about not being able to do something because I was upset that I couldn't do it, I finally got up and took a shower and had a moment in nature with myself.

I realized that I was shooting for Jupiter and landing on Mars and I was throwing a fit about it, not even being excited that I had actually made it into space! I have decided that while I am still going to do MilWordY, I'm not going to stress myself too much about word counts. And I'm feeling like I'll be going that same way when it comes to NaNoWriMo as well. I'm not worrying about deadlines or how many words each book is supposed to have. I just have a checklist of my ideas that I want to write out, and when I finish one book I can check it off and go to the next. The point is that I'm getting my books done. I think I've moved past that need to have a looming deadline and a daily quota in order to get me to write, and I am so totally okay with that!

Be peaceful, my friends!

-E.M.