Saying "No"

Believe it or not, being able to say "no" is an important part of being a writer. It's all about knowing your own personal limits and being willing to uphold those limits, at the expense of the hurt feelings of others.

Have you ever found that you've spread yourself too thin? I know what it's like to be a people pleaser and still have my own wants and needs as a human being. It's how we people pleasers are wired; I may want or need this thing here, but I can put that aside for a little while if it means that someone I love or care about can get what they want or need right now. It has been the downfall of too many almost-authors.

Let me ask you this, do you want to finish your book? Do you want to be published? If the answer to either of those questions is "yes," then you need to be able to say"no." Say no to your best friend's latest project, say no to the date with the cute guy you just met, and yes, even say no to the chance to make a little extra cash if it means you have to give up an extra hour a week of your writing time. When you start the endeavor of "I'm-officially-finishing-my-book-for-real-this-time," you have to set boundaries for yourself--and then uphold them at all costs.

Sometimes, you will even have to say "no" to yourself! Say no to watching that new episode of The Walking Dead, say no to doing your laundry right this instant, say no to watching that movie you've been dying to see; because everything you do must be dedicated to finally finishing that work in progress you've been trying to finish for three years. It is this level of dedication that will get you finished and published with a cohesive novel that people love to read.

Now, just because you said no right now does not mean you have to say no all the time. There are times when you need to take a break, distract yourself, or get yourself out of a rut. The most crucial times to say no are simply those times where whatever it is you want to do or are being asked to do will cut into your personal writing time. That time should be dedicated to you and your book, because writing a book is like having a relationship; the story gets told, but you get something out of it too.

Cheers!

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